So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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