He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
