I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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