Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
