Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
