____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
