so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
tell me about the fingering
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
