I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
