PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
