Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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