i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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