3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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