I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
