I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I see more hoeing in ur future
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