smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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