the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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