Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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