this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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