ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
