Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
