awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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