I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize