Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
