spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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