Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
