Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
