Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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