I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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