i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
