I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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