I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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