Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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