Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
