just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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