your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
