I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
