Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
