he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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