the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
