I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
