i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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