i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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