I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
