I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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