I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
