she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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