And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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