u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
