I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
