WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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