What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
